Affirmation:
The Five P's
Building Godly relationships is an
important part of our church's mission statement and something that all of us
yearn for. To be genuinely connected to one another and to share one
another's burdens is a comfort and a source of strength. One of the best
ways to foster those Godly relationships is to actively, regularly, and
genuinely affirm one another in the Lord. I believe affirmation is a
skill that can be taught and learned. Once the skill of affirmation is
learned, it will have a dramatic impact on our relationships.
The apostle Paul gives us a wonderful example of this in the opening verses of
Philemon when he says: "I always thank my God as I remember you in my
prayers, because I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for
all the saints. I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so
that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ.
Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have
refreshed the hearts of the saints." - Philemon 1:4-7
Christian author Claude Thomas says that Paul's underlying principle of
affirmation is this: People positively respond to positive and healthy
reinforcement. Taking that principle to heart, what can we learn from
Paul's words to Philemon? Paul's concern is to foster and grow his
relationship with Philemon. Even though Philemon undoubtedly had some
negative characteristics, Paul concentrated on his kinship with Philemon -
they were brothers in Christ!
When we affirm others we should remember the five "P"s.
See the Positive - Affirmation is always positive. No one needs
you to affirm their negatives and their weaknesses. Most of us have a
pretty clear picture of those. What we need is someone to point out our
"upside."
See the Personal - Paul tells Philemon how his life has affected him
personally. He says, "Your love has given me great joy and
encouragement!" Affirmation is not an abstraction. It is
concrete and it is local. Ask yourself, "How has this person
blessed me?" "What qualities or characteristics do they
possess that I find admirable?"
See the Present - While most of our relationships have a history,
affirmation focuses on the right now. Focus in on right now. What
can you affirm, right at that moment? Eulogize the past, but affirm the
present!
See the Particular - Notice how Paul picks out specific qualities of
Philemon; his faith, his love, the way he has refreshed the saints. General
praise could belong to anyone. Specific praise is more obviously
directed at one person and their gifts. Paul's praise is specific enough
that Philemon knows it is directed at him and him alone.
Give with Passion - Paul's affirmation of Philemon is genuine and
heartfelt. He's not buttering Philemon up so he gets what he wants.
He is wholeheartedly affirming Philemon's worth to himself and to the body of
Christ.
With a new year only a few days away, make a resolution. In 2005,
acquire the skill of affirmation and use it often. Nothing will mobilize
the gifts of a church and build Godly relationships among believers like
genuine biblical affirmation.
Godspeed,
Pastor
John
Mid-Week
Musings
An
Occasional bulletin from Christ United Methodist Church