Sermon Notes - March 6, 2005
"Thinking Clearly About Your
Stress"
Thinking Clearly, part 3
I.
Introduction – Today we continue our series about Clear
Thinking.
A.
We’ve talked about “Thinking Clearly About Problems” and
“Thinking Clearly About Relationships.”
B.
Today we’ll talk about “Thinking Clearly About Stress.”
1)
Stress is not something caused on the outside.
It’s something that’s caused inside of us.
2)
When we get under stress we blame our circumstances, but they
are not the cause of our stress.
a)
Stress is your response to circumstances.
Stress is in your mind. It’s
how you react.
b)
2 people in the exact same circumstances will react
differently and face different levels of stress.
3)
Stress is a combination of our emotions and our reactions to
those emotions.
a)
Worry, anxiety, guilt, fear, bitterness, anger – all of
these are based on the way your think.
b)
That’s why the Bible says if you want to deal with stress,
you’ve got to change the way you think.
C.
2 Timothy 4:5 says, “But you, keep your head in all
situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the
duties of your ministry.”
1)
When your stressed you don’t think clearly.
You may be so stressed that you barely made it in here today.
2)
Good news – God has a different plan.
II.
In a Compromising Situation.
A.
You know what this is: when you’re pressured to do something
that you don’t want to do. Or
when you’re pressured to do something that you know is wrong.
1)
In school we called this “peer pressure.”
Do I go against the crowd or do I do the right thing.
2)
In adulthood we call this “Enron.”
B.
Do you remember the first time you were pressured to smoke a
cigarette or drink alcohol? Or
to have sex? Or cheat on a test?
1)
You had to make a choice at that moment when you were under
stress.
2)
Do you remember when you were asked to put profit over people?
“Do I tell the truth and lose the sale or do I lie?”
3)
These situations are all around us.
C.
The Bible says there are two things we can do when confronted
with a compromising situation that will definitely reduce your stress.
D.
First, do the next right thing!
Always.
1)
In the short term it looks like doing the easy thing is
easier, but in reality doing the right this is always easier.
It’s less stressful. Why?
2)
Because when you do the easy thing you erode your foundation,
you compromise your convictions and you tarnish your integrity.
a)
Don’t give up on your convictions without a fight.
b)
The effect lasts long after the decision has been forgotten.
c)
Why do the indecision and the doubt and the fear of discovery
last so long? Because you
didn’t show integrity in that moment and you went the wrong way.
d)
And that causes stress. So
always to the right thing and avoid the long-term stress.
3)
Proverbs 10:9 says, “the man of integrity walks securely,
but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.”
a)
If you don’t have integrity you will slip and you will fall.
Count on it. What you sow
you reap. That will cause some
stress.
b)
But if you show integrity, you’re solid.
It’s the only way to stay on track.
4)
When is the best time to decide that you will have integrity
in compromising situations that cause stress?
Then? Or Now?
a)
You decide now. Because
in stressful conditions you don’t think clearly.
And when you don’t think clearly you don’t make good decisions
(remember?).
b)
When the situation arises all you have to do is act on your
decision.
E.
Second, Trust God for your future.
1)
Proverbs 23:17-18 says, “Do not let your heart envy sinners,
but always be zealous for the fear of the Lord.
There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut
off.”
a)
When you see dishonest people of little integrity prospering
it kind of kicks you in the gut. It
doesn’t seem right.
b)
But, God’s not done. Judgment
comes. God says don’t envy
dishonest people.
i.
Don’t envy people who swindle, defraud, dupe, trick, fleece,
con, bilk, bamboozle, hoodwink, rip off, or scam.
ii.
Why? Because they
don’t have a future. What you
sow you reap.
iii.
But if you have integrity, you do the right thing, God says
you have a wonderful future that will not get taken away from you.
2)
If you try to stand for anything in this world, you’re going
to get criticized. No question.
a)
If you are a leader and you take the lead you’re going to
get hit.
b)
If you are an innovator or unconventional, you’re going to
get arrows in your back.
3)
Remember, this question: Who are you trying to please?
God or man?
a)
I really only need to live for an audience of one.
b)
And for that I need integrity.
F.
Some of you have done the right thing and you haven’t seen
the reward – yet.
1)
You did the right thing in your marriage.
With your kid. At your
work. And guess what – no
happy ending yet.
2)
Trust God for your future.
III.
In a Conflicting Situation.
A.
We said last week that we are all different, that’s the way
God made us. That’s a
wonderful thing, but it also makes conflict inevitable.
1)
No one likes conflict. I
don’t like conflict. In fact,
if you really like conflict you either need to see a therapist or you are a
therapist!
2)
Unfortunately most of us don’t do conflict well, because
we’ve never learned. Sometimes
because of this, we get into conflict and make things worse.
3)
Here’s what the Bible says about how to manage conflict in
relationships with you co-workers, your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife,
even your enemies.
B.
Change your focus.
1)
Switch your focus away from your own needs and toward the nees
of that other person. Try to see
their point of view.
2)
In the counseling that I’ve done as pastor, I realize that
most situations would instantly be a lot better if you could see where the
other person is coming from.
a)
How do you do that? Here’s
where it gets hard: You have to listen more than you talk.
b)
That’s not easy. After
all, you want them to understand you! You
want to explain.
c)
But God gave you two ears and one mouth so that you can listen
twice as much as you talk.
d)
And that means changing your focus by listening rather than
speaking.
3)
That’s what it says in Philippians 2:3-6.
““Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in
humility consider others better than yourselves. Each
of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests
of others. Your attitude should
be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not
consider equality with God something to be grasped.”
{Man, this verse is packed.}
a)
Don’t be selfish. (The
#1 reason for conflict)
b)
Be humble. (Putting
the other person’s needs/situation first)
c)
And then about 99.9% of conflict disappears.
d)
Let’s remind ourselves that to be a follower of Christ you
give your life to Christ.
i.
Because he gave his life for you, you give your life to him.
ii.
You give him all your needs, hurts and rights.
“God, I give you all the rights to my life.”
iii.
When you do that it’s impossible to be proud and selfish any
longer.
4)
Go home and make a list of all the things you think you have a
right to and give them back to God. Watch
the conflict, anger and stress in your life go down.
{Let’s pray}
C.
Watch your words.
1)
Let this verse from Proverbs 18:20 sink in: “From
the fruit of his mouth a man’s stomach is filled; with the harvest from
his lips he is satisfied.”
2)
How many people have you hurt with your words?
How many times have you lashed out in anger and wounded with your
words.
a)
The Bible is clear that there are some verbal weapons that you
should never use.
b)
Read Ephesians 4:29-32.
c)
Some things are out of bounds.
Words can’t be taken back so remove these weapons from your arsenal
and watch your words.
IV.
In a Competing Situation.
A.
We live in a competitive culture and it affects us.
1)
We compete for our parents attention as children, for grades
in school, for dates in high school, for recognition, status, promotions.
Just about anything.
2)
This kind of stress is pretty unique to our culture.
Again, to reduce the stress, the Bible gives us some help.
B.
Stop comparing.
1)
Let me say this in as frank a way as I can: “If your
comparing yourself to anyone else, you’re acting dumb.
How can I say that? 2
reasons:
a)
You are unique. If
God made you with special care and with your own mix of gifts you really
can’t compare yourself to anyone else.
And God never intended you to.
i.
God want you to be you. He
doesn’t want you to be anyone else. God
doesn’t do robots, carbon copies, or clones.
God does originals.
ii.
Stop comparing and let the stress of that go!
b)
It makes you miserable. It
is the source of envy and bitterness.
2)
Galatians 6:4 says “Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself,
without comparing himself to somebody else.”
a)
If you’re tired of the performance trap you need to do one
thing.
b)
Stop comparing.
C.
Finally, this. Remember
God’s unconditional love.
1)
God loves the most successful businessperson as much as he
loves the world’s biggest flop. God
already believes you are something awesome.
2)
So much so that Jesus died for you: Romans 5:8 says “But
God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners,
Christ died for us.”
a)
When did God start
loving you? When you came back
to Him?
b)
NO.
When you were turning your back on God.
3)
BINGO!
a)
When you get to that
place where you recognize that only by God’s grace will you know him –
the stress gets better.
b)
B/c there’s no
reason to strive, compare, burn-out, keep up, stress out, flare up,
compromise, feel guilty, lose control, get hyper, scream, shout, fuss, or
explode.
4)
Some of you know of
God’s unconditional love, but you’ve never felt it.
a)
You feel it in a small group.
b)
Will you make a commitment to a small group?
Do you need one?
c)
Let me know
V.
Conclude – There’s a lot of stress in life.
There doesn’t have to be. Turn
to God for guidance and wisdom and watch the stress start to disappear.